Daily Freeman June 29 2003

Mothering Mommies
KINGSTON DAILY FREEMAN
By:BLAISE SCHWEITZER , Freeman staff June 29, 2003

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Audrey, Emmet, Jake, Gregory, Amara, Ethan, Olivia, Rebecca, Sarah, Jakob, Joseph and Nicholas are but a few of the babies Fiona Cottrell of Saugerties has gotten to know in the four years since the idea of becoming a doula sunk into her mind.

"It sort of chose me," Cottrell said.

Based on an ancient Greek word for a woman who helps another woman, doula has come to mean "a woman experienced in childbirth who provides physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, continuously during and just after childbirth."

Giving birth to her own daughter, Brittany, 11 years ago was a profound experience for Cottrell. The subsequent time she spent with friends who were new parents gradually led her to see that caring for families during and after childbirth made sense for her.

She met up with Mary Riley, a Glenford-based doula and childbirth educator, and learned more about the field and the extensive training available to those who are interested in it. Every family responds to childbirth in unique ways, and Riley helped Cottrell learn how to adapt to each mother's wishes, from the most drug-free and natural childbirth to accepting the Caesarean birth method.

People hold strong opinions about every aspect of parenting, and Cottrell has plenty of her own. Riley said she was impressed to see that Cottrell doesn't let that get in the way of the services she offers, however. "She doesn't go in with judgment."

Certified through Doulas of North America, Cottrell does both birth and postpartum doula work in the region, helping with everything from chores around the house to coaching mothers in non-medical pain management techniques.

Fiona Cottrell of Saugerties poses with Emmet, one of the babies whose familes she assists.

FREEMAN/Bill Madden

Kelly Toussaint of Rhinebeck said she is grateful for the creative visualization pain management Cottrell helped her with during the April 7 birth of her son, Ethan.

Toussaint said she and her husband, Dave Toussaint, found the hospital experience during the birth of their first child to be less than ideal, so they worked with Cottrell to plan out as many aspects of their second child's birth as possible.

That included choosing meditation over medication, and Toussaint said the scene she called up to distance herself from the intensifying pain was a peaceful one.

"Definitely the beach," she said.

Cottrell respected the Toussaints' wishes to hold off on going to the hospital until late in the labor process, reassuring Kelly Toussaint in the back seat and calming Dave Toussaint as he drove them to Vassar Brothers Medical Center in Poughkeepsie. As to how fast he was going, Kelly Toussaint said she didn't know.

"I wasn't looking at the speedometer," she said.

The time from entry to hospital to Ethan's entry to the world was only 10 minutes.

The postpartum doula work Cottrell does is more domestic, helping run errands, cleaning and even preparing meals for families in the months following births.

Last week she was at Alison Guss' house in Rhinebeck, caring for Guss' 1-year-old, Sarah, and her 3-year-old, Rebecca as Guss went for a run.

After a shower, Guss recalled the help Cottrell gave during Sarah's birth and the connection she has made with the family.

"She's been such an important part of our lives," Guss said. Talking with Cottrell and planning ahead for the possibility of a Caesarean birth made a big difference for her.

"I was ready," Guss said.

Early on in her doula training, Cottrell said she was surprised to learn how frequently it is the father who asks for a doula's help. That came to make sense, to her, though.

"We put a lot of pressure on them," she said.

Men are expected to be paragons of stability through births, but seeing their wives scream and squirm and bleed can't be easy, Cottrell said. "Men are just as apprehensive as we are when we go into labor."

Doulas have come to be as welcome in birthing rooms as midwives, and doctors usually have no problem with their presence, Cottrell said. They certainly aren't competing with medical professionals.

"My role is purely physical and emotional support. I don't do anything medical," she said. "I don't make any decisions. I help them come to a choice."

If parents are dissatisfied with how they are being treated by their doctors, she lets them know they must only be so patient. "I encourage them to change doctors," she said.

Cottrell said it is a privilege for her to be around growing families and new moms.

And when talking about the strength women find during childbirth, Cottrell said she likes to repeat a quote that has been attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt: "Women are like tea bags. You never know how strong they will be until you put them in hot water."

Cottrell suggested prospective parents read "Immaculate Deception" by Suzanne Arms and "Birthing from Within" by Pam England and Rob Horowitz. More information is available at the Doulas of North America Web site at www.dona.org or through Cottrell's own site at www.babymoon.org.